Don't Tell Me I Can't - Chapter 1
As I stood in front of a room filled with my banking peers, I realized everything in my life had prepared me for this moment, this pinnacle event. Many rich, famous, and respected men had been part of my quest, but in the end I stood alone, a testament to the strength, fortitude and determination of my family and generations of African Americans who had suffered so I might succeed.
As they removed the covering and unveiled my likeness in wax, I realized I had finally arrived. In the lobby of the Bank of America, flanked by Ken Lewis, the bank's CEO, and many more seasoned and well known banking professionals, I was overwhelmed. This was the biggest reward I had ever received. My former colleagues, in the consummate act of loyalty, admiration, and friendship, wanted to honor me for being a trailblazer and a pioneer.
In 1998, they had arranged for my likeness to be permanently placed in the National Great Blacks In Wax Museum in Baltimore. To know that my life had value by inspiring and motivating generations to come was reward enough, but now my likeness would forever pronounce my achievements. I would live in perpetuity in that Baltimore museum for my accomplishments. I was joining people like Maggie Lena Walker, the first woman in the United States to become a president of a local bank. Born July 15, 1867, in Richmond, VA, the daughter of former slaves, she had worked in the mansion of abolitionist Elizabeth Van Lew, who spied for Gen. Ulysses S. Grant during the Civil War. In 1903, Maggie founded the St. Luke's Penny Savings Bank, which later merged with two banks in Richmond to become Consolidated Bank and Trust.
Memories flooded my mind and I was filled with emotion as Ken Lewis described my career and achievements. At the same time, my heart ached for all those African Americans who had tried and were not able to stand up to the test. Pride also filled my soul with the knowledge that so many others had flooded through the doors that I and my fellow African American pioneers had forced open for them.
I am part of a generation that directly benefited from the Civil Rights movement. We were part of the struggle and witnessed the sacrifice of limbs and lives to make sure our generation would have opportunities that had been denied black people in America. We knew our generation's job was to go through the doors that had been opened, to show we could perform and reach back to help others come through the doors, too.
When my 12 year old grandson and his class visited the museum to view my likeness, I was honored, and once again when my 88 year old mother took a group of fellow senior citizens from her assisted living facility in Philadelphia. The wax figure honors me to this day. Although I have been retired from banking for over 20 years, this is testimony that my peers and former business associates value the achievements I have accomplished in my lifetime.
Yes, I had persisted through great adversity - surviving poverty, racism, bigotry, self destructive behavior, and a career that took over my life. I have learned to take responsibility for all aspects of my life - the good, the bad, the many mistakes and the personal and professional struggles I faced throughout the years. I live with but one regret; not spending more time in the day to day lives of my sons, Robert Jr., Anthony, and Christopher.
As a boy growing up an only child reared by my grandmother, I always felt like an outsider seeking to prove my life had value. I was determined to show the world that I would amount to something and that one day people would look up to me and be inspired. As that young child and throughout most of my adult life, I continued to feel like an outsider - but being an outsider also allowed me to be a free spirit. I went my own way, which was one reason I had left home and joined the Air Force at age 17. When I did that, there was no turning back. My grandmother made that clear. "I'm renting out your room," she told me. This was her way of letting me know that once I made a choice, I would have to live with it.
My life has been a constant battle between constructive and self destructive behavior. At one time, I was completely out of control, often engaging in totally selfish, self destructive behavior as an alcohol abuser and womanizer. While I have struggled with lengthy battles against alcoholism, loneliness, depression, sex addiction, and numerous health challenges, - - and despite all of my faults and shortcomings - I still became one of the most respected, admired, and influential black bankers in the nation. I became an example and symbol of what can be achieved with a good education, determination, drive, self sufficiency, and a whole lot of love.
After the unveiling of the statue, the room soon emptied. I stood next to my wax likeness left to ponder my life and my seemingly unrelenting desires to "buck the system." It started early on.
As a child I always had a sense of adventure and was willing to try new challenges. I was a determined, bullheaded, stubborn black man. I always felt as if I were searching for something, constantly chasing my dreams until they were within my grasp. I was determined to break the cycle of poverty and despair around me rather than becoming another statistic: - in jail or in a morgue by my teens. My life would not be confined to a box within the ghetto. With the world against me, I was instead fortified by love and support from both sides of my family.
I had been told many times it would be impossible for me to leave the ghetto; that I never would be successful, that my race and color never would be accepted in white corporate America. I would prove them wrong, bucking society's low expectations of a poor black boy from the wrong side of the tracks.
I reacted strongly and fiercely:
Don't tell me I can't make it in a white man's world!
Don't tell me I can't graduate from one of the most prestigious graduate banking programs in the nation!
A story of Courage, Caring and Commitment to make a difference in life.
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